"Forgiveness is a decision to give up your perceived or actual right to get even with, or hold in debt, someone who has wronged you... to give up resentment against or a desire to punish... to give up all claim to punish, to cancel or remit (a debt).
Note that to forgive is a verb: it's active; it's something you must decide to do.
When one of you fails to forgive, you can't function as a team because the unforgiven partner is kept "one down" by being indebted to the other."
Howard J Markman, Scott M Stanley, Susan L Blumberg
"Fighting for your Marriage" p349
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