Grief Support

Responding to Normal Stages of Grieving
– You get the opportunity to Be REAL and to be supportive.
Be HONEST with yourself and them - you are learning too.

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A Life Changing Event occurs in the life of one of your loved ones.
What is needed by him/her is your presence.
Compassionately witness what is happening.
Be steadfast.
Just quietly be there

Numbness/Euphoria will likely come next
"You look shocked."
"You can't believe what happened!"
"You feel frozen/numb."
"you feel look and sound ecstatic/relieved."
Affirm and reflect their feelings

Anger outward/inward might next manifest itself
"You are furious..."
"It's unfair!"
"You resent..."
"You are wondering... why you?!"
Show your empathy and respect. Reflect observed or imagined anger

Bargaining is a usual stage of the grieving process
"You feel you want another opinion.."
"You wonder 'What if...'"
"You are thinking 'If only...'"
"You are thinking 'Yes, but...'"
Be patient. This step is normal and should pass in time

Depression is the true depths of grieving.
(notice YOUR need to get past this stage. Resist it.)
"You feel guilty about..."
"It's OK to cry. This is within normal for now."
"You look so sad."
"What is your greatest fear now?"
Support your loved one. Be there

Options should begin to rise from the darkness and pain
"You sound like you might begin to go forward from here..."
"Who do you think you might be able to consult with?"
"It looks like you are becoming aware of glimmers of light - even in these dark days."
"Do you have any sense of what your next step might be?"
Explore together

Acceptance
"It sounds like you are seeing a gift from this experience..."
"I hear you beginning to accept yourself as changed forever."
"I see you accepting your different circumstances a little more."
Share your observations of small progress

Integration
"The terrible event is becoming a 'part of your history'."
(The grieving process can take up to two to five years or more to reach this stage. Be patient.)
Rejoice together

(Thank You: Hospice Home in the West)