Stop Your Arguments - It Takes Two to Argue

“Argument Stopping Statements”
- help me live a more dignified life.
- help me avoid becoming aggressive.
- protect me from becoming a push-over.
- help me be friendly/firm and fair to me as well as to you.
- help me solve my/my-part-of our problems.
- help dissipate negative energy

Accompany these statements with a “cool-loving” or “warm coolth”, steadfastness in your face and body and voice.

Look the other person bravely and confidently (not challengingly) in the eye.

Remember to breathe: difficult, scary, unfamiliar situations need oxygen-rich blood flowing through your brain and body.

Become well-versed with these statements. They will help you over and over again.

Add to this argument stopping tool-box from your own experience and resources.

Practice lots.

Get help from someone more skilled than you both if you need it.

Oh?
Oh…
Ah…
Wow… Phew… Sigh…
Oh my…
Really?
That’s interesting…
I need to think about that.
You are right… I am not perfect yet.
Other aspects of me are more excellent than what you mention – thank you for telling me.
Please be patient with me – I am a ‘work in progress’.
Oh. Thank you for telling me.
I guess you love/respect/appreciate me for some of my other qualities!
I have carefully listened to you. This is how I see it from my point of view… Your turn to listen to me…
I am unsettled now – it’s time for me to withdraw for a while and think about this. I’ll get back to you.
My feathers are getting ruffled. Three deep breaths… OK… now you can carry on…
My inner dragon is stirring… I need to take a ‘time out’ for a while.
My inner dragon is starting to breathe fire. Excuse me while I spend some quality time with him/her.
I feel my inner witch awakening. I need to take time to reassure/listen to him/her…
I can see you feel strongly about this… really strongly… passionately…
Please tell me how you arrived at that conclusion…
I appreciate your willingness/capacity to let me know. Thank you.
Thanks for telling me. I’ll think about what you have said.
We’ll get through this. We deserve better than this… we’ll get there - together.
I’m sorry we don’t see eye to eye on this issue… yet. Perhaps we never will…
As we keep talking we will talk our way into winning for each, and both, of us…
I am not at “Yes” /“No” yet. Please keep talking… Carry on some more…
You are right!
You have a point there…
I see that is one point of view…
That is your point of view… Hold on I want to write down your view so I can think about it.
I’m beginning to see where you are coming from… Tell me more...
Ah… I see what you mean…
I wish more people had your enthusiasm about this.
You are passionate about this.
That is well-expressed. I’ll think about what you have said.
This really deserves some deep thought from me.
I want to be sure I understand you. Please tell me again.
Tell me more… and then?… what did you see/hear/think?…
Don’t stop in the middle of your story… carry on…
We agree on other things. We can’t agree on this yet. Perhaps we never will – So be it.
So… you and I see things differently. I can live with that. Peacefully.
We will need to agree to disagree. Agreeably.
Love you/Respect you! Not going to fight with you on this one!
Not going to fight with you any more. Hurts me/us too much. I love/respect you too much.
Peace, my love/friend… We can get back to this if/when we need to.
God loves you. I love you. He made us both. We are both worthwhile. We can/will get through this…