Imagine yourself in a situation in each statement where your wishes are different to another/s.
Get a piece of paper and write at the top of columns:
CF, CP, CS, AW, AS. As you go through the questions, sort your answers into the five columns. (You might use both alternatives in each number - mark both columns if that is the case.)
1
A=AW
There are times when I let others take responsibility for solving the problem.
B=AS
Rather than negotiate an agreement, I try to resolve only what the other and I can agree on.
2
A =CS
I tend to find a compromise for both parties during our differing times.
B=CP
I try to soothe the other person's feelings to preserve the relationship.
3
A=CF
I usually remain firm in the pursuit of my goals.
B =AS
I try to comfort the other to preserve the relationship.
4
A=CS
I try to find a compromise when I am faced with different points of view.
B=AS
I sometimes sacrifice my own point of view for that of another person.
5
A=CP
I consistently seek help in resolving differences.
B=AW
I usually try to resolve differences on my own.
6
A=AW
I am willing to do what is necessary to avoid tension when I differ with another.
B =CF
I try to win my position.
7
A=AW
I try to postpone dealing with differences until I have had time to think over the situation.
B=CS
I will concede some of my points in exchange for others.
8
A=CF
I do not often change/modify my goals.
B=CP
I attempt to get all concerns and issues immediately out in the open.
9
A=AW
Differences are not always worth worrying about.
B=CF
I make some effort to get my way in spite of immediate differences.
10
A=CF
I'm firm in expressing and pursuing my goals.
B=CS
I try to find a compromise solution.
11
A=CP
I attempt to get all the differences out in the open as soon as possible.
B=AS
I might try to soothe the other person's feelings to preserve the relationship.
12
A=AW
I sometimes avoid taking a position that would create controversial differences.
B=CS
I'll concede certain issues to the other person if he/she will concede some to me.
13
A=CS
I will propose finding a middle ground.
B=CF
I press issues of difference to make my points.
14
A=CP
I tell the other person my ideas and ask for his/hers in return.
B=CF
I try to persuade the other party to accept the merits of my position.
15
A=AS
I might try to soothe the other person's feelings to preserve the relationship, despite our differences.
B=AW
I try to do what is necessary to avoid tension when there are differences.
16
A=AS
I try not to hurt other's feelings if we have differences.
B=CF
I try fervently to persuade the other/s to understand and accept my point of view.
17
A=CF
I'm usually unyielding in pursuing my goals.
B=AW
I don't try to convince the other person to accept the merits of my position.
18
A=AS
If it makes the other person happy, I might let a group maintain their point of view.
B=CS
I'll concede certain issues to the other person if he/she will concede some to me.
19
A=CP
I try to get all concerns and issues immediately out in the open.
B=AW
I try to postpone the issue until I've had time to think it over.
20
A=CP
I immediately attempt to work through the differences people have between them.
B=CS
I try to find a fair balance of gains and losses for both people.
21
A=AS
In approaching negotiations, I try to consider the other person's wishes.
B=CP
I always lean toward a direct discussion of the problem.
22
A=CS
I try to find a position intermediate between the other's position and my own.
B=CF
I try to convince the other person of the strengths of my position.
23
A=CP
I'm often concerned with satisfying everyone's wishes.
B=AW
At times, I let others take responsibility for solving our problems.
24
A=AS
If another person's position seems very important to them, I try to meet their wishes.
B=CS
I try to get the other person to compromise his/her position.
25
A=CF
I try to show the other person the advantages of my position.
B=AS
In approaching negotiations, I try to be considerate of the other person's wishes.
26
A=CS
I propose a middle ground to resolve differences.
B=CP
I'm nearly always concerned with satisfying the wishes of all parties.
27
A=AW
I sometimes avoid taking positions that would create controversy.
B=AS
To make the other person happy, I might concede my differences and accept their opinion.
28
A=CF
I usually focussed on pursuing my goals, sometimes relentlessly.
B=CP
I usually seek the other person's help in working out a solution to our differences.
29
A=CS
I propose a middle ground to resolve differences.
B=AW
I feel the differences are not worth worrying about.
30
A=AS
I try not to hurt the other person's feelings.
B=CP
I communicate the problem to the other so we can work our our differences.
Now SCORE YOURSELF:
Count up how many you have for each of CF, CP, CS, AW, AS.
EXPLANATION:
CF is Competing and Forcing
CP is Collaborating and Problem Solving
CS is Compromising and Sharing
AW is Avoiding and Withdrawing
AS is Accomodating and Smoothing
Thank you: "Managing Differences" Geri McArdle
All of the different styles will be problem solving in different circumstances and with different people - it sometimes also depends on their age (and your age) as well.
QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION:
Which have you discovered is your favoured style?
In what ways is this surprising to you?
In which circumstances is your usual style problem solving?
Problem solving for whom?
Which styles of dealing with differences were less known to you before?
In which circumstances is your usual style problem creating?
Problem creating for whom?
Which styles work with which people in your life?
Which styles do not work with which people?
Which style is frustrating for you?
Which styles feel risky/dangerous to you?
How can you increase your ways of dealing with differences?
Who do you know who uses a style you need to/want to learn?
How can you learn from them?
Who can you talk to about this exercise?
What are you learning about yourself?
What are you learning about your spouse?
What will you do differently in the next week?
What will you do differently the next time you differ with someone?
What will you do differently the next time you are in a group and differ with the group?
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Friday, February 20, 2009
Some days...
"Some days I am in love, some days I am not. But you know what?
Every day I am married."
Quoted by Roland Gaspar on Radio Pulpit
Every day I am married."
Quoted by Roland Gaspar on Radio Pulpit
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Explore Your Dependencies and Addictions
Signs of Unhealthy Dependency/Addiction:
Dependency is usually a slowly developing
condition that catches up on me when I have
been less aware of myself and my
circumstances for a while.
The immediate effects seem good, but after a
period of time I realize that I am shockingly
painfully, harmfully dependent on/addicted to
a substance or behaviour.
The Truth is: Very few people manage their own
lives again without sufficient and effective
professional help.
I may need competent help to bring myself
to balance and under my own subjection again.
There are many signs of unhealthy dependence.
Some of the most obvious ones include:
1 Escaping stress by using a substance
or behaviour. (rather than managing/solving)
2 Developing a tolerance for a substance or
behaviour.
3 Having black-outs or blank-outs.
4 Being secretive about a substance or behaviour.
5 Using a substance or behaviour to anaesthetise
the (sometimes) excruciating/ordinary pain of living.
6 Suffering physical problems: liver disease, trembling,
pains, brain damage.
7 Developing unrealistic fears.
8 Being very aggressive - verbally and/or physically.
9 Feeling extremely sad, sorry and/or guilty.
10 Feeling better than/more important than other people -
or feeling worse than/less important than others.
11 Feeling like you just HAVE TO have another dose
of a substance or behaviour, and then another…
and another… (feeling out of your own control)
12 Lying about using a substance or behaviour.
13 Losing your appetite and eating poorly/oveating.
14 Not caring properly for yourself physically/mentally.
15 Storing and hiding a substance or behaviour.
16 Becoming suspicious and jealous.
17 Using a substance or behaviour from early in the
morning/week/month.
18 Staying blacked-out or blanked out for several days
in a row.
19 Suffering mental functioning problems: can't think
straight, brain feels fuzzy.
20 Being very, overly helpful to others at the expense
of self, family, home, work, other commitments.
Time to take an accounting!
I am either healthily, problem solvingly, stress relievingly free from or reliant/dependent on...
or unhealthily, problem creatingly, stress increasingly reliant or dependent on/addicted to...
Score yourself:
F = Free,
1 = Healthy, problem solving
through 2 and 3 to
4 = Unhealthy, problem creating
Alcohol
Drugs - L = legal / I = illegal
Tobacco
Food or some foods
Shopping/spending money
Saving/thrift
Sport/movement
Fitness/exercise
Sleeping/withdrawing
Solitude/reading/studying/learning
Entertainment/fun/playing
Humour/joking/teasing
Television/TV games
Art/drama/dance
Gambling with money/possessions
Speed/danger/recklessness/risk
Helping others
People/friends/peers
Religion/church/scriptures
Over dramatization
Position/influence/superiority
Sexual activity/thoughts
Aggression - verbal and/or physical
Anger/Rage - inward or outward
Hobbies/interests
Lying/deceiving/pretending/hoping
Feeling sorry for myself
Depression
Work - formal or informal
How did you do?
Where can you start to make a difference in your
dependencies and/or addictions?
Decide to start today!
When you slip - and most of us have on our life-long
journey to sobriety, balance and success -
Sigh. Simply pick yourself up, dust yourself off...
and start all over again, and again and again
until you are more and more in charge of yourself.
Who can help you? Ask for the help you need.
Ether 12:27
"And if men come unto me I will show unto them their aweakness. I bgive unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my cgrace is sufficient for all men that dhumble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make eweak things become strong unto them."
Psalms 11:14
14 Where no acounsel is, the people fall: but in the bmultitude of ccounsellors there is safety.
Dependency is usually a slowly developing
condition that catches up on me when I have
been less aware of myself and my
circumstances for a while.
The immediate effects seem good, but after a
period of time I realize that I am shockingly
painfully, harmfully dependent on/addicted to
a substance or behaviour.
The Truth is: Very few people manage their own
lives again without sufficient and effective
professional help.
I may need competent help to bring myself
to balance and under my own subjection again.
There are many signs of unhealthy dependence.
Some of the most obvious ones include:
1 Escaping stress by using a substance
or behaviour. (rather than managing/solving)
2 Developing a tolerance for a substance or
behaviour.
3 Having black-outs or blank-outs.
4 Being secretive about a substance or behaviour.
5 Using a substance or behaviour to anaesthetise
the (sometimes) excruciating/ordinary pain of living.
6 Suffering physical problems: liver disease, trembling,
pains, brain damage.
7 Developing unrealistic fears.
8 Being very aggressive - verbally and/or physically.
9 Feeling extremely sad, sorry and/or guilty.
10 Feeling better than/more important than other people -
or feeling worse than/less important than others.
11 Feeling like you just HAVE TO have another dose
of a substance or behaviour, and then another…
and another… (feeling out of your own control)
12 Lying about using a substance or behaviour.
13 Losing your appetite and eating poorly/oveating.
14 Not caring properly for yourself physically/mentally.
15 Storing and hiding a substance or behaviour.
16 Becoming suspicious and jealous.
17 Using a substance or behaviour from early in the
morning/week/month.
18 Staying blacked-out or blanked out for several days
in a row.
19 Suffering mental functioning problems: can't think
straight, brain feels fuzzy.
20 Being very, overly helpful to others at the expense
of self, family, home, work, other commitments.
Time to take an accounting!
I am either healthily, problem solvingly, stress relievingly free from or reliant/dependent on...
or unhealthily, problem creatingly, stress increasingly reliant or dependent on/addicted to...
Score yourself:
F = Free,
1 = Healthy, problem solving
through 2 and 3 to
4 = Unhealthy, problem creating
Alcohol
Drugs - L = legal / I = illegal
Tobacco
Food or some foods
Shopping/spending money
Saving/thrift
Sport/movement
Fitness/exercise
Sleeping/withdrawing
Solitude/reading/studying/learning
Entertainment/fun/playing
Humour/joking/teasing
Television/TV games
Art/drama/dance
Gambling with money/possessions
Speed/danger/recklessness/risk
Helping others
People/friends/peers
Religion/church/scriptures
Over dramatization
Position/influence/superiority
Sexual activity/thoughts
Aggression - verbal and/or physical
Anger/Rage - inward or outward
Hobbies/interests
Lying/deceiving/pretending/hoping
Feeling sorry for myself
Depression
Work - formal or informal
How did you do?
Where can you start to make a difference in your
dependencies and/or addictions?
Decide to start today!
When you slip - and most of us have on our life-long
journey to sobriety, balance and success -
Sigh. Simply pick yourself up, dust yourself off...
and start all over again, and again and again
until you are more and more in charge of yourself.
Who can help you? Ask for the help you need.
Ether 12:27
"And if men come unto me I will show unto them their aweakness. I bgive unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my cgrace is sufficient for all men that dhumble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make eweak things become strong unto them."
Psalms 11:14
14 Where no acounsel is, the people fall: but in the bmultitude of ccounsellors there is safety.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Tears
You may cry if you want to, because my admiration for you cannot be erased by your tears. - M Maartens
Tears are the rivers of life, shed in joy as well as in sadness and fear. - Louise L Hay
You cry when you are able to cry. Dr Oswald CJ Hoffmann "Take Heart in your Grief"
God didn't goof when he gave us tear-ducts. Michael Ballam
Rent a sad movie - cry. - Oprah Winfrey
Tears are the rivers of life, shed in joy as well as in sadness and fear. - Louise L Hay
You cry when you are able to cry. Dr Oswald CJ Hoffmann "Take Heart in your Grief"
God didn't goof when he gave us tear-ducts. Michael Ballam
Rent a sad movie - cry. - Oprah Winfrey
Monday, February 2, 2009
Conflict - Learn how to "Fight Fair"
Let go of your habitual unfair, undignified, unsuccessful fighting styles:
Swallowing your gripes, then dumping them all at once – this is called “kitchen-sink-ing” by some authors X
Playing Prosecutor or Interrogator or Persecutor X
Getting too intense X
Waving off, or dismissing as “not that big a deal”, the other’s grievances X
Trying to Win at all costs. Succeeding in winning is even more devastating X
Not letting your spouse know you love him/her X
Getting defensive. Withdrawing, crumbling, trying to defend yourself X
Getting aggressive. Being critical, fault-finding, hurtfully-jabbing, nasty, ridiculing, sarcastic, mocking, contemptuous, rude, disrespectful, unmannerly X
“Naming, blaming and/or shaming” of self or other X
“When someone is hostile, my instinct is to find out why.” – Cynthia Cooper
(When I am hostile, time to go searching inside me, past, present and future, for anger roots.)
“You can get away with bad fighting habits for only so long, once you are faced with a major crisis, if you haven’t developed good problem-solving skills, you’ll be at greater risk of troubles with your relationship.” - Sybil Carrere
“Often what you are arguing about on the surface isn’t really what the fight is about.”
- Sybil Carrere
“Although your anger feels real, it’s only temporary.” – Renee Bacher
“When you find yourself saying ‘Yes, but…’ it’s a sign that you’ve slammed your mind shut to what the other person has just said.” – Renee Bacher
“You have a choice every time you say something to each other. You can choose: to tear down your relationship or you can nurture it.” - Sybil Carrere
“Ask yourself ‘Would I talk to my best friend or my boss the way I am about to speak to my husband/wife?’ Then choose your words carefully.” - Sybil Carrere
Thank you: Cynthia Cooper, Sybil Carrere, Renee Bacher - RD - Oct 2003 p62, T - Dec 2002 p 51
Some Well Documented Better Strategies for : “Fighting Fair” - Managing your conflicts more effectively and problem-solvingly:
1. Talk, talk, talk. If the situation gets ugly or unfruitful, take a ‘time-out’. Do some ‘weeding’ of your own resentments and bitterness’s and other bad habits. Talk again – as soon as you both can. “It is better to debate an issue and not settle it than to settle an issue and not debate it”.
2. Try until you succeed. Accurately get to understanding your own, and the other’s, feelings, significance, and point of view. This may take years.
3. Be increasingly sensitive and honest about your own and the other’s feelings and hidden agendas – work gently and respectfully, respectably. Develop a genuine interest in your own and the other’s feelings and point of view.
4. Come clean. Your true cause and motive for your feud? Seek the other’s deep reasons for the conflict. “What am I/are you afraid of?” “What might be the fear?”
5. Ask yourself (and maybe the other) “Is this productive?” “Now?”
6. Stick to the point at hand. If you want to discuss other things, do it later.
7. Try something (anything!) different – get out of your ‘repetitive cycles’ and unproductive patterns “If you keep on doing what you have always done, you will keep on getting what you have always got”.
8. Stay connected. Get connected again, when you can, if your ‘connection’ has frayed. Introduce some positives, and make some ‘deposits’ into your relationship.
9. Find ways to nurture your relationship mid-dispute, creatively.
10. Let your spouse know by your big and small actions, between disputes, how much they are genuinely respected, cared about, listened to, loved.
11. After discussion, find Compromises that please you both – keep working toward compromises – however long it takes
12. Co-exist (“agree to disagree, agreeably”) for as long as you have to
13. Collaborate more and more – celebrate your differences. Make them work increasingly FOR you instead of AGAINST you – turn your defeats into victories. “Two heads are better than one.” “We are a magnificent team.”
14. Work towards WIN/WIN situations and let go of the lose/win and the win/lose. These are usually personal and relationship losses.
15. Keep conflict-avoidance to a minimum. Have regular, small, gentle clean-outs of ‘issues’. “How are you doing? Do we have anything to clear up?”
16. Promise yourself not to dismiss gripes “If this is important to you, it’s important to me too. I want to understand you and how this looks to you.”
17. Take a breather. Rephrase. What are you hearing? Work on your own approach. If you get stuck the same way, over and over, ask someone you trust and respect for some ideas. Keep searching until you find what works for you.
18. Cultivate your own problem-solving, mild, appropriate sense of humour.
19. Breathe deeply, regularly. Strong emotions need lots of oxygenated blood flowing to the body and brain-in-stress.
20. GROW UP – Get Rid Of (your own) Weaknesses - Under Pressure. (Steadily, forever.) Change yourself - you can't change anybody else.
Swallowing your gripes, then dumping them all at once – this is called “kitchen-sink-ing” by some authors X
Playing Prosecutor or Interrogator or Persecutor X
Getting too intense X
Waving off, or dismissing as “not that big a deal”, the other’s grievances X
Trying to Win at all costs. Succeeding in winning is even more devastating X
Not letting your spouse know you love him/her X
Getting defensive. Withdrawing, crumbling, trying to defend yourself X
Getting aggressive. Being critical, fault-finding, hurtfully-jabbing, nasty, ridiculing, sarcastic, mocking, contemptuous, rude, disrespectful, unmannerly X
“Naming, blaming and/or shaming” of self or other X
“When someone is hostile, my instinct is to find out why.” – Cynthia Cooper
(When I am hostile, time to go searching inside me, past, present and future, for anger roots.)
“You can get away with bad fighting habits for only so long, once you are faced with a major crisis, if you haven’t developed good problem-solving skills, you’ll be at greater risk of troubles with your relationship.” - Sybil Carrere
“Often what you are arguing about on the surface isn’t really what the fight is about.”
- Sybil Carrere
“Although your anger feels real, it’s only temporary.” – Renee Bacher
“When you find yourself saying ‘Yes, but…’ it’s a sign that you’ve slammed your mind shut to what the other person has just said.” – Renee Bacher
“You have a choice every time you say something to each other. You can choose: to tear down your relationship or you can nurture it.” - Sybil Carrere
“Ask yourself ‘Would I talk to my best friend or my boss the way I am about to speak to my husband/wife?’ Then choose your words carefully.” - Sybil Carrere
Thank you: Cynthia Cooper, Sybil Carrere, Renee Bacher - RD - Oct 2003 p62, T - Dec 2002 p 51
Some Well Documented Better Strategies for : “Fighting Fair” - Managing your conflicts more effectively and problem-solvingly:
1. Talk, talk, talk. If the situation gets ugly or unfruitful, take a ‘time-out’. Do some ‘weeding’ of your own resentments and bitterness’s and other bad habits. Talk again – as soon as you both can. “It is better to debate an issue and not settle it than to settle an issue and not debate it”.
2. Try until you succeed. Accurately get to understanding your own, and the other’s, feelings, significance, and point of view. This may take years.
3. Be increasingly sensitive and honest about your own and the other’s feelings and hidden agendas – work gently and respectfully, respectably. Develop a genuine interest in your own and the other’s feelings and point of view.
4. Come clean. Your true cause and motive for your feud? Seek the other’s deep reasons for the conflict. “What am I/are you afraid of?” “What might be the fear?”
5. Ask yourself (and maybe the other) “Is this productive?” “Now?”
6. Stick to the point at hand. If you want to discuss other things, do it later.
7. Try something (anything!) different – get out of your ‘repetitive cycles’ and unproductive patterns “If you keep on doing what you have always done, you will keep on getting what you have always got”.
8. Stay connected. Get connected again, when you can, if your ‘connection’ has frayed. Introduce some positives, and make some ‘deposits’ into your relationship.
9. Find ways to nurture your relationship mid-dispute, creatively.
10. Let your spouse know by your big and small actions, between disputes, how much they are genuinely respected, cared about, listened to, loved.
11. After discussion, find Compromises that please you both – keep working toward compromises – however long it takes
12. Co-exist (“agree to disagree, agreeably”) for as long as you have to
13. Collaborate more and more – celebrate your differences. Make them work increasingly FOR you instead of AGAINST you – turn your defeats into victories. “Two heads are better than one.” “We are a magnificent team.”
14. Work towards WIN/WIN situations and let go of the lose/win and the win/lose. These are usually personal and relationship losses.
15. Keep conflict-avoidance to a minimum. Have regular, small, gentle clean-outs of ‘issues’. “How are you doing? Do we have anything to clear up?”
16. Promise yourself not to dismiss gripes “If this is important to you, it’s important to me too. I want to understand you and how this looks to you.”
17. Take a breather. Rephrase. What are you hearing? Work on your own approach. If you get stuck the same way, over and over, ask someone you trust and respect for some ideas. Keep searching until you find what works for you.
18. Cultivate your own problem-solving, mild, appropriate sense of humour.
19. Breathe deeply, regularly. Strong emotions need lots of oxygenated blood flowing to the body and brain-in-stress.
20. GROW UP – Get Rid Of (your own) Weaknesses - Under Pressure. (Steadily, forever.) Change yourself - you can't change anybody else.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
FISH!
FISH! - Find the Best in Your Marriage...
1. CHOOSE YOUR ATTITUDE
When you go around looking for the worst, you find it everywhere.
When you realize you have the power to choose your attitude to what occurs in your marriage and your life, you can prepare for the worst, expect the best, and find opportunities you never imagined possible.
When you find yourself with an attitude that is not good, true and useful to you at any given moment, choose a new and improved, more appropriate one!
2. PLAY!
Work, made fun, gets done. Even serious work, done by choosing a lighthearted, spontaneous way, is more satisfying.
Play is not just an activity; it’s a state of mind (and being) that brings new energy to the tasks at your hand. Playfulness sparks creative solutions.
3. MAKE THEIR DAY
When you “Make someone’s day” (or moment) through a small kindness or unforgettable engagement with them, you can turn even routine encounters into special memories.
4. BE THERE
The glue of our humanity is in being fully present for one another. “Being" and "Being there” is a great way to practice wholeheartedness and fight burnout.
It is those half-hearted tasks you perform while juggling other things that wear you out.
Try the FISH! Philosophy – it will make a difference to your days too.
Adapted from the book "FISH!"
by Stephen C Lundin, John Christensen, and Harry Paul
1. CHOOSE YOUR ATTITUDE
When you go around looking for the worst, you find it everywhere.
When you realize you have the power to choose your attitude to what occurs in your marriage and your life, you can prepare for the worst, expect the best, and find opportunities you never imagined possible.
When you find yourself with an attitude that is not good, true and useful to you at any given moment, choose a new and improved, more appropriate one!
2. PLAY!
Work, made fun, gets done. Even serious work, done by choosing a lighthearted, spontaneous way, is more satisfying.
Play is not just an activity; it’s a state of mind (and being) that brings new energy to the tasks at your hand. Playfulness sparks creative solutions.
3. MAKE THEIR DAY
When you “Make someone’s day” (or moment) through a small kindness or unforgettable engagement with them, you can turn even routine encounters into special memories.
4. BE THERE
The glue of our humanity is in being fully present for one another. “Being" and "Being there” is a great way to practice wholeheartedness and fight burnout.
It is those half-hearted tasks you perform while juggling other things that wear you out.
Try the FISH! Philosophy – it will make a difference to your days too.
Adapted from the book "FISH!"
by Stephen C Lundin, John Christensen, and Harry Paul
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
How Do You Feel? S - Z
Sad
Safe
Sarcastic
Satisfied
Scared
Sceptical
Scorned
Secretive
Secure
Seductive
Selfish
Sensible
Sensitive
Sensual
Sentimental
Serene
Serious
Servile
Sexless
Sexual
Sexy
Shamed
Shameful
Shattered
Shocked
Shrewd
Shy
Significant
Silenced
Silent
Silly
Sleepy
Sly
Smart
Smiling
Smothered
Smothering
Sneaky
Sneering
Sociable
Solemn
Sorrowful
Sorry
Sparing
Special
Spirited
Spoilt
Stable
Stalked
Stalking
Startled
Stopped
Strained
Stretched
Stripped
Strong
Stubborn
Stumped
Stupid
Submissive
Successful
Superior
Supported
Suppressed
Surprised
Surprising
Surviving
Survivor
Suspicious
Sympathetic
Tactful
Talented
Targeted
Taunted
Taunting
Tearful
Tenacious
Tender
Tense
Terrified
Thankful
Thoughtful
Thrilled
Timid
Tired
Tireless
Tolerant
Tortured
Touched
Trapped
Traumatised
Trusted
Trusting
Trustworthy
Truthful
Turbulent
Turmoil
Tyranical
Unappreciated
Unapproachable
Unconventional
Underprivileged
Understood
Unequal
Unequalled
Unforgiven
Unforgiving
Unfulfilled
Ungracious
Unhappy
Unimportant
Unique
Unimportant
Unnoticed
Unsafe
Unsatisfied
Unsettled
Unstable
Untalented
Unyielding
Used
Useless
Waiting
Warm
Wasteful
Weak
Wicked
Wild
Willing
Wise
Wishy-washy
Wistful
Withdrawn
Woeful
Worried
Worthwhile
Yearning
Yielding
Young
Zany
Zealous
Go on! Try some of these words to describe how YOU are feeling! Vary your reflection of the feelings of the others around you. It's part of Emotional Intelligence. There's a good book written by Daniel Goleman called "Emotional Intelligence." I recommend it for a good read.
Safe
Sarcastic
Satisfied
Scared
Sceptical
Scorned
Secretive
Secure
Seductive
Selfish
Sensible
Sensitive
Sensual
Sentimental
Serene
Serious
Servile
Sexless
Sexual
Sexy
Shamed
Shameful
Shattered
Shocked
Shrewd
Shy
Significant
Silenced
Silent
Silly
Sleepy
Sly
Smart
Smiling
Smothered
Smothering
Sneaky
Sneering
Sociable
Solemn
Sorrowful
Sorry
Sparing
Special
Spirited
Spoilt
Stable
Stalked
Stalking
Startled
Stopped
Strained
Stretched
Stripped
Strong
Stubborn
Stumped
Stupid
Submissive
Successful
Superior
Supported
Suppressed
Surprised
Surprising
Surviving
Survivor
Suspicious
Sympathetic
Tactful
Talented
Targeted
Taunted
Taunting
Tearful
Tenacious
Tender
Tense
Terrified
Thankful
Thoughtful
Thrilled
Timid
Tired
Tireless
Tolerant
Tortured
Touched
Trapped
Traumatised
Trusted
Trusting
Trustworthy
Truthful
Turbulent
Turmoil
Tyranical
Unappreciated
Unapproachable
Unconventional
Underprivileged
Understood
Unequal
Unequalled
Unforgiven
Unforgiving
Unfulfilled
Ungracious
Unhappy
Unimportant
Unique
Unimportant
Unnoticed
Unsafe
Unsatisfied
Unsettled
Unstable
Untalented
Unyielding
Used
Useless
Waiting
Warm
Wasteful
Weak
Wicked
Wild
Willing
Wise
Wishy-washy
Wistful
Withdrawn
Woeful
Worried
Worthwhile
Yearning
Yielding
Young
Zany
Zealous
Go on! Try some of these words to describe how YOU are feeling! Vary your reflection of the feelings of the others around you. It's part of Emotional Intelligence. There's a good book written by Daniel Goleman called "Emotional Intelligence." I recommend it for a good read.
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