40
Days of deepening you Love Journey
Day 1: Love is Patient
Be completely humble
and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. —Ephesians
4:2 NIV
TODAY’S DARE
The first part of this
dare is fairly simple. Although love is communicated in a number of ways, our
words often reflect the condition of our heart. For the next day, resolve to
demonstrate patience and to say nothing negative to your spouse at all. If the
temptation arises, choose not to say anything. It’s better to hold your tongue
than to say something you’ll regret
Day 2: Love is Kind
Be kind to one another,
tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven
you —Ephesians 4:32
TODAY’S DARE
In addition to saying
nothing negative to your spouse again today, do at least one unexpected gesture
as an act of kindness.
Day 3: Love is Not
Selfish
Be devoted to one
another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor. —Romans 12:10
TODAY’S DARE
Whatever you put your
time, energy, and money into will become more important to you. It’s hard to
care for something you are not investing in. Along
with restraining from negative comments, buy your spouse something that says,
“I was thinking of you today.”
Day 4: Love is Thoughtful
How precious also are
Your thoughts to me. . . .How vast is the sum of them! If I should count them,
they would outnumber the sand. —Psalm
139:17–18
TODAY’S DARE
Contact your spouse
sometime during the business of the day. Have no agenda other than asking how
he or she is doing and if there is anything you could do for them.
Day 5: Love is Not
Rude
He who blesses his
friend with a loud voice early in the morning, it will be reckoned a curse to
him. —Proverbs
27:14
TODAY’S DARE
Ask your spouse to tell
you three things that cause him or her to be uncomfortable or irritated with
you. You must do so without attacking them or justifying your behavior. This is
from their perspective only.
Day 6: Love is Not
Irritable
He who is slow to anger
is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a
city.
—Proverbs 16:32
TODAY’S DARE
Choose today to react to
tough circumstances in your marriage in loving ways instead of with irritation.
Begin by making a list below of areas where you need to add margin to your
schedule. Then list any wrong motivations that you need to release from your
life.
Day 7: Love Believes
the Best
[Love] believes all
things, hopes all things. —1
Corinthians 13:7
TODAY’S DARE
For today’s dare, get two
sheets of paper. On the first one, spend a few minutes writing out positive
things about your spouse. Then do the same with negative things on the second
sheet. Place both sheets in a secret place for another day. There is a different
purpose and plan for each. At some point during the remainder of the day, pick
a positive attribute from the first list and thank your spouse for having this
characteristic.
Day 8: Love is Not
Jealous
Love is as strong as
death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire.—Song of Solomon 8:6
TODAY’S DARE
Determine to become your
spouse’s biggest fan and to reject any thoughts of jealousy. To help you set
your heart on your spouse and focus on their achievements, take yesterday’s
list of negative attributes and discreetly burn it. Then share with your spouse
how glad you are about a success he or she recently enjoyed.
Day 9: Love Makes Good
Impressions
Greet one another with
a kiss of love. —1 Peter 5:14
TODAY’S DARE
Think of a
specific way you’d like to greet your spouse today. Do it with a smile and with
enthusiasm. Then determine to change your greeting to reflect your love for
them.
Day 10: Love is unconditional
God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.—Romans 5:8
TODAY’S DARE
Do something out of the ordinary today for your spouse—something that proves (to you and to them) that your love is based on your choice and nothing else. Wash her car. Clean the kitchen. Buy his favorite dessert. Fold the laundry. Demonstrate love to them for the sheer joy of being their partner in marriage.
Day 11: Love Cherishes
Husbands ought also to
love their own wives as their own bodies. —Ephesians 5:28
TODAY’S DARE
What need does your spouse
have that you could meet today? Can you run an errand? Give a back rub or foot massage? Is there housework you could
help with? Choose a gesture that says, “I cherish you” and do it with a smile.
Day 12: Love Lets
the Other Win
Do not merely look out
for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. —Philippians 2:4
TODAY’S DARE
Demonstrate love by
willingly choosing to give in to an area of disagreement between you and your
spouse. Tell them you are putting their preference first.
Day 13: Love Fights
Fair
If a house is divided
against itself, that house will not be able to stand. —Mark 3:25
TODAY’S DARE
Talk with your spouse
about establishing healthy rules of engagement. If your mate is not ready for
this, then write out your own personal rules to “fight” by. Resolve to abide by
them when the next disagreement occurs.If a house is divided against itself,
that house will not be able to stand.
Day 14: Love Takes
Delight
Enjoy life with the
wife you love all the days of your fleeting life. —Ecclesiastes 9:9 HCSB
TODAY’S DARE
Purposefully neglect an
activity you would normally do so you can spend quality time with your spouse.
Do something he or she would love to do or a project they’d really like to work
on. Just be together.
Day 15: Love is Honorable
Live with your wives in
an understanding way . . . and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of
life.—1 Peter 3:7
TODAY’S DARE
Choose a way to show honor
and respect to your spouse that is above your normal routine. It may be holding
the door for her. It might be putting his clothes away for him. It may be the
way you listen and speak in your communication. Show your mate that he or she
is highly esteemed in your eyes.
Day 16: Love Intercedes
Beloved, I pray that in
all respects you may prosper and be in good health, just as your soul prospers.
-3
John 2
TODAY’S DARE
Begin praying today for
your spouse’s heart. Pray for three specific areas where you desire for God to
work in your spouse’s life and in your marriage.
Day 17: Love Promotes
Intimacy
He who covers over an
offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends. -Proverbs 17:9 NIV
TODAY’S DARE
Determine to guard your
mate’s secrets (unless they are dangerous to them or to you) and to pray for
them. Talk with your spouse, and resolve to demonstrate love in spite of these
issues. Really listen to them when they share personal thoughts and struggles
with you. Make them feel safe.
Day 18: Love Seeks
to Understand
How blessed is the man
who finds wisdom, and the man who gains understanding. —Proverbs 3:13
TODAY’S DARE
Prepare a special dinner
at home, just for the two of you. The dinner can be as nice as you prefer.
Focus this time on getting to know your spouse better, perhaps in areas you’ve
rarely talked about. Determine to make it an enjoyable evening for you and your
mate.
Day 19: Love is Impossible
Let us love one
another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows
God. —1 John 4:7
TODAY’S DARE
Look back over the dares
from previous days. Were there some that seemed impossible to you? Have you
realized your need for God to change your heart and to give you the ability to
love? Ask Him to show you where you stand with Him, and ask for the strength
and grace to settle your eternal destination.
Day 20: Love is
Jesus Christ
While we were still
helpless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. —Romans 5:6
TODAY’S DARE
Dare to take God at His
Word. Dare to trust Jesus Christ for salvation. Dare to pray, “Lord Jesus, I’m
a sinner. But You have shown Your love for me by dying to forgive my sins, and
You have proven Your power to save me from death by Your resurrection. Lord,
change my heart, and save me by Your grace.”
Day 21: Love is Satisfied
in God
The Lord will
continually guide you, and satisfy your desire. —Isaiah 58:11
TODAY’S DARE
Be intentional today about
making a time to pray and read your Bible. Try reading a chapter out of
Proverbs each day (there are thirty-one—a full month’s supply), or reading a
chapter in the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John). As you do, immerse
yourself in the love and promises God has for you. This will add to your growth
as you walk with Him.
Day 22: Love is Faithful
I will betroth you to
Me in faithfulness. Then you will know the Lord. —Hosea 2:20
TODAY’S DARE
Love is a choice, not a
feeling. It is an initiated action, not a knee-jerk reaction. Choose today to
be committed to love even if your spouse has lost most of their interest in
receiving it. Say to them today in words similar to these, “I love you. Period.
I choose to love you even if you don’t love me in return.”
Day 23: Love Always
Protects
[Love] always protects.
—1 Corinthians 13:7 NIV
TODAY’S DARE
Remove anything that is
hindering your relationship, any addiction or influence that’s stealing your
affections and turning your heart away from your spouse.
Day 24: Love vs
Lust
The world is passing
away, and also its lusts; but the one who does the will of God lives forever. —1 John 2:17
TODAY’S DARE
End it now. Identify every
object of lust in your life and remove it. Single out every lie you’ve
swallowed in pursuing forbidden pleasure and reject it. Lust cannot be allowed
to live in a back bedroom. It must be killed and destroyed—today—and replaced with
the sure promises of God and a heart filled with His perfect love.
Day 25: Love Forgives
What I have forgiven,
if I have forgiven anything, I did it for your sakes in the presence of Christ. - 2 Corinthians 2:10
TODAY’S DARE
Whatever you haven’t
forgiven in your mate, forgive it today. Let it go. Just as we ask Jesus to
“forgive us our debts” each day, we must ask Him to help us “forgive our
debtors” each day as well. Unforgiveness has been keeping you and your spouse
in prison too long. Say from your heart, “I choose to forgive.”
Day 26: Love is Responsible
When you judge another,
you condemn yourself, since you, the judge, do the same things. —Romans 2:1 HCSB
TODAY’S DARE
Take time to pray through
your areas of wrongdoing. Ask for God’s forgiveness, then humble yourself
enough to admit them to your spouse. Do it sincerely and truthfully. Ask your
spouse for forgiveness as well. No matter how they respond, make sure you cover
your responsibility in love. Even if they respond with criticism, accept it by
receiving it as counsel.
Day 27: Love Encourages
Guard my soul and
deliver me; do not let me be ashamed, for I take refuge in You. —Psalm 25:20
TODAY’S DARE
Eliminate the poison of
unrealistic expectations in your home. Think of one area where your spouse has
told you you’re expecting too much, and tell them you’re sorry for being so
hard on them about it. Promise them you’ll seek to understand, and assure them
of your unconditional love.
Day 28: Love Makes
Sacrifices
He laid down His life
for us. We should also lay down our lives for our brothers. —1 John 3:16 HCSB
TODAY’S DARE
What is one of the
greatest needs in your spouse’s life right now? Is there a need you could lift
from their shoulders today by a daring act of sacrifice on your part? Whether
the need is big or small, purpose to do what you can to meet the need.
Day 29: Love’s Motivation
Render service with a
good attitude, as to the Lord and not to men. —Ephesians 6:7 HCSB
TODAY’S DARE
Before you see your spouse
again today, pray for them by name and for their needs. Whether it comes easy
for you or not, say “I love you,” then express love to them in some tangible
way. Go to God in prayer again, thanking Him for giving you the privilege of
loving this one special person—unconditionally, the way He loves both of you.
Day 30: Love Brings
Unity
Father, keep them in
Your name, the name which You have given Me, that they may be one even as We
are.
—John 17:11
TODAY’S DARE
Isolate one area of
division in your marriage, and look on today as a fresh opportunity to pray
about it. Ask the Lord to reveal anything in your own heart that is threatening
oneness with your spouse. Pray that He would do the same for them. And if
appropriate, discuss this matter openly, seeking God for unity.
Day 31: Love and Marriage
A man shall leave his
father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one
flesh. —Genesis 2:24
TODAY’S DARE
Is there a “leaving” issue
you haven’t been brave enough to conquer yet? Confess it to your spouse today,
and resolve to make it right. The oneness of your marriage is dependent upon
it. Follow this with a commitment to your spouse and to God to make your
marriage the top priority over every other human relationship.
Day 32: Love Meets
Sexual Needs
The husband must
fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. —1 Corinthians 7:3
TODAY’S DARE
If at all possible, try to
initiate sex with your husband or wife today. Do this in a way that honors what
your spouse has told you (or implied to you) about what they need from you sexually. Ask God to make
this enjoyable for both of you as well as a path to greater intimacy.
Day 33: Love Completes
Each Other
If two lie down
together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone? —Ecclesiastes 4:11
TODAY’S DARE
Recognize that your spouse
is integral to your future success. Let them know today that you desire to
include them in your upcoming decisions, and that you need their perspective
and counsel. If you have ignored their input in the past, admit your oversight
and ask them to forgive you.
Day 34: Love Celebrates
Godliness
[Love] does not rejoice
in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth. —1 Corinthians 13:6
TODAY’S DARE
Find a specific, recent
example when your spouse demonstrated Christian character in a noticeable way.
Verbally commend them for this at some point today.
Day 35: Love is Accountable
Plans fail for lack of
counsel, but with many advisers they succeed. —Proverbs 15:22 NIV
TODAY’S DARE
Find a marriage
mentor—someone who is a strong Christian and who will be honest and loving with
you. If you feel that counseling is needed, then take the first step to set up
an appointment. During this process, ask God to direct your decisions and
discernment.
Day 36: Love is
God’s Word
Your word is a lamp to
my feet and a light to my path. —Psalm
119:105
TODAY’S DARE
Commit to reading the
Bible every day. Find a devotional book or other resource that will give you
some guidance. If your spouse is open to it, see if they will commit to daily
Bible reading with you. Begin submitting each area of your life to its guidance
and start building on the rock.
Day 37: Love Agrees
in Prayer
If two of you agree on
earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by My Father. -Matthew
18:19
TODAY’S DARE
Ask your spouse if you can
begin praying together. Talk about the best time to do this, whether it’s in
the morning, your lunch hour, or before bedtime. Use this time to commit your
concerns, disagreements, and needs before the Lord. Don’t forget to thank Him
for His provision and blessing. Even if your spouse refuses to do this, resolve
to spend this daily time in prayer yourself.
Day 38: Love Fulfills
Dreams
Delight yourself in the
Lord; and He will give you the desires of your heart. —Psalm 37:4
TODAY’S DARE
Ask yourself what your
mate would want if it was obtainable. Commit this to prayer, and start mapping
out a plan for meeting some (if not all) of their desires, to whatever level
you possibly can.
Day 39: Love Endures
Love never fails. —1 Corinthians 13:8
TODAY’S DARE
Spend time in personal
prayer, then write a letter of commitment and resolve to your spouse. Include
why you are committing to this marriage until death, and that you have purposed
to love them no matter what. Leave it in a place that your mate will find it.
Day 40: Love is a Covenant
Where you go, I will
go, and where you lodge, I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your
God, my God.
—Ruth 1:16
TODAY’S DARE
Write out a renewal of
your vows and place them in your home. Perhaps, if appropriate, you could make
arrangements to formally renew your wedding vows before a minister and with
family present. Make it a living testament to the value of marriage in God’s
eyes and the high honor of being one with your mate.
From: http://lovedare.bhpublishinggroup.com/lovedare/
